Thrashing Tantrum Surrender

Fine!
I get it!
Loud and clear,
You great big
Universe, You!
You’ve told me
At great lengths
I listened and heard
But did quite the
Opposite
Over
And over
And over
Again
Impulsively
Compulsively
Defiantly
(With Love, so
Much hope, and un-
Adulterated will!)
I acted
Believing but
Maybe deceiving
Myself
That I know better
Or at least
Desire stronger
That sweet
Breath of fresh air
Even if
Off limits,
Inaccessible
Compared with
The constant
Flow of life
You circulate
Within Us
《Sigh》
You’ve wanted
Undivided
Attention
All along,
Haven’t you?
Ha!
Jealous much?
Oh, fine!
Carry then
This other
Desire of desires
You parade before me
Eternal desire
To be close to
She Who Holds My Heart
Damn it anyway!
Carry it with You then!
This eon-old call
Obviously
I can’t handle it
(At least not well
Or without injury
To self or Another ~)
Not this time
Auuugghh!
Fine.
You win!
I tried
Out of deep Love,
Out of True Love
I’ve grasped and I’ve
Stumbled
Again
But You,
Big, fat
Universe
Triumphed
Yet again,
Didn’t you?
With Your
Big, fat
Other plans
For this life!
The valiant
Fighter within
Will fight no more
Instead
I Surrender
Kicking and thrashing
I finally
Finally
Finally
Surrender
To You

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Silence Becomes You

Amada Amada
Your silence becomes you
It shines in your eyes
Like glitter of sunlight
Through a dew drop tear

It adds to your smile
Curling the sweet corners
Adding to the mystery
Adventure and delight
That you are

It sweeps over your face
Like the mane of a wild horse
Free in virgin pastures
Windy, warm, wide open
Away from man’s capture

It sits in your lap
Peaceful and bold like
Enlightenment
Sat upon Buddha’s
Awakened heart

It sees right through me
Like a mirror reflecting
My selfishness, inner
Disharmony, and perhaps
I’m not as bad as all that

In silence you breathe
And I think, hope,
You will speak
But only a patient sigh
Escapes your lips

My heart shouts out
Ad nausem
Thunderous with the sound
Of the mayhem of love
Desired and dreamed of

As I sit here yammering
Away my breath
You let the words flow by
Like diamond dust
In the sky

Perhaps that silence
Looking so good on you
If I tried it
Just might look, maybe,
Half as good on me
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The Atomic Little Room with Blackout Curtains

In a schmancy little town
Beyond fickle seasons–
Blankets biting whiteness,
Peeping buds
Causing residents to bend down
And kiss them with delight
As they trumpet the coming
Of spring,
Summer fading quickly
In and out again, and
Vibrant leaves in fall
Putting the town to sleep
Once more–
There’s a home where
Celebrations come and go
Between laughter and tears of
Day to day life
And happy and sad and boring and
Fun experiences
Dot the calendar
And beyond the visuals
Of that home is a
Dancing little One
Who twists and turns
Amid peace and turmoil
Valiantly accomplishing
And sometimes failing
Coming and going
While breathe continues
To flow steadily
Or not so steadily
In and out of lungs
And the warm
But never quite warm enough
Blood pumps persistently
From heart to lungs
Through heroic aorta,
Body, and back and blue
To the heart once more
And in her mind
Thoughts create a
Reality that takes her
Up mountains
Down valleys
Through space and
Fast slow time
Stretching farther than
Arms or legs or boats or planes
And sometimes
She can only feel
The beating of her heart
That quiets a room
In the depth of her,
An atomic little room
With blackout curtains
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Vagabond Spirit Entered My Home

Spirit found a crack in my heart
And entered profoundly
Filling every crevice
Splintered from eons of life
Shining through each facet
Renewed awareness of
Deepest Love

Spirit entered my Soul
Splitting me away from
Anything I thought I knew
Before this–ah!–simply rude
And welcomed debut!
Aiming to capture me–
And succeeding

Spirit works Her magic
No matter how hard I fight
Not letting me forget
Her presence or mission
Yet ignores me waiting
For the moment I call myself
Fully surrendered to Her

How Red?

wpid-20140807_120655-1.jpg
Crimson
Flaming
Glowing
Rosy
Wine
Blushing
Garnet
Brick
Ruby
Sanguine
Bloodshot
Candy apple
Burning
Blazing
Brilliant
Fiery
Flaring
Ho spike
Ignited
Raging
Red-hot
Arousing
Full-blooded
Hot
Intoxicating
Passion
Inspired
Feverish
Luminous
Lip stick
Beaming
Phosphorescent
Vivid
Vibrant
Sweltering
Thermogenic
Scalding
Scorching
Really freaking
RED!

Open Wide to Love

Open Wide to Love

I am open wide for Love My eyes see it coming My mouth waters open My heart breathes it in I am open wide for Love! My arms outstretched To receive its warmth And satisfying goodness! I am open wide … Continue reading

A Vision of Us: Separate But Connected

image
Amada Minha, Alma Divina!

I had a vision of Us
In the middle of the night
The two of Us
Sitting on clouds holding hands
But at a distance
Smiling so brightly!
Our Souls
Separate now but
Connected for always!

It may seem silly to others,
But You and I know its true
That We have more to do
Together one day

(Do you know We have friends here,
Such sweet, dear souls,
Who would love to see Us together sooner?
How I wish to fulfill their desire!
Maybe they will see Us next time
Who knows?)

I realized in this vision
What I wrote in a poem
Yesterday:

I trust You.

What I mean to say is

My Soul
Trusts Yours
Implicitly

Just as I have never
Really loved until You,
Neither have I trusted–
Not anyone, not really
Until now

I can finally let go
Of fears of losing You
Because of this vision
Showing me that We are
Side by side
As We have been
For a very long time

I no longer will cry
During romance movies
For some love idea that
Doesn’t exist
Because You are with me
And You most certainly exist!

Even though I have to let go
Of Beijas’ hopes this time–
The closeness and kisses
And fantasies of Our wedding…

(Ah! I’ve not even shared that with
You, have I? Not much at all,
Nor written of it here,
Such a quiet secret it’s been
In my heart!
But, oh yes,
Hundreds of times this same scene:
There We are,
At some alter before friends and family,
A picture of elegant Beauty
Holding hands, facing each Other,
Smiling and perhaps tears of joy,
We dedicate Our Souls to the Other
Such joy! Such relief! Such peace~
In spite of what Our
Poor family members are thinking!
Ahahaha)

…Our Souls dance together
All the time!
Mo Anam Cara ~
We simply are!

More in my vision:
You, all around me now,
Supporting me doing
What’s mine to do–
No more peeking at me from
Across the street!
I need You closer,
Your Presence, Dear Heart,
And You have mine
In all that You do
I have Your back this time,
Brother Warrior!

And I will not leave You
And I will not panic
Causing some disastrous occurrence!
I almost did this time, didn’t I?
Only for wanting You

But You,
Stronger and wiser,
Pushed me out of harm’s way
Missing the sword of sorrow

If We aren’t able to talk
Without forgetting Our Goal
Know that You’re close to me
Right by my side

I hoped for Our friendship
I miss talking with You
The way We used to,
Sharing everything!
I miss it so much!

But, Woman!
What attraction is this
That sets Us on fire
In a zoompy?

It’s the magnetism
That will remind Us
Next time
Not eyes, not scent
But this Love

It’s not that I’m
Suddenly happy
I still miss and want You
If my human self had its say
I’d be there already!
What supernatural force has
Managed to keep me here?

Love.
Love has kept me away
So We can shine
As partners–in secret
And silence and invisibility
This time;
But in all light, love and joy
When it’s Our time

I may have to write
One million poems
To remind myself
Again and again

But, Beloved of mine,
I’m here for You
Look over and see me
On this cloud next to You
Holding Your hand
Separate for now,
But always connected

What more can I say to You
Beautiful
Beloved
Butterfly
Soul?

I
Love
You
So
So
So
Muito ~

Cougarlicious ~

What are You up to,
My sleek little Cougar
Slinking around
Watching me?

I see You with Your Eyes
On me, licking Your teeth
Are You hungry for me?
Do you intend to devour me?

Would You like to play?
To romp in the sun
Or laugh at the wind
As We intertwine?

Or will You hide again
In Your forest,
Valley, mountain
Or cave?

I catch Your scent
As easily as You catch mine
I know You are there
Will You come?

Ah, I will stay still as
You decide on Your own
To pounce!
Or not…

My warm, ferocious Cougar,
I am neither prey nor
Predator
I am simply here for You ~

A Curious Exchange

Mysterious, indeed…

Forbidden Words
Where are you now, my beautiful lady?
My heart is missing yours
My lips miss your face
My eyes are searching for yours
Where are you now?
I have been thinking of you all the day,
Reading your letters and poems.
The notes you sent to me, hidden in a book.
Where are you my Divine Soul?
Where are you now?
I need you, I care for you.
I want you, come and rest in my lap.
Comfort me, holding my hands.
Relax me by hugging me.
Make me have dreams to hold to my future.
Let me give you my best
Just to see you laugh.
Good night my love, have nice dreams.

~ From Her, last night, in response to I Can Nearly See You

 

I am here, missing You so much!
I have felt each thought You’ve had
On my lips, my heart, my soul
How I want to comfort You by
Holding You all night,
Wrapped around You as
Perfectly as it happens for Us
I want to see Your smile–
Oh, that sexy smile of Yours as
You look at me from
The corner of Your eye
Laughing at me just for
Being so in love with You!
Forbidden Tower–yes! ahahaha
Forbidden Words–maybe
Forbidden Love? It can’t be true!
I love You, Beautiful Soul
Sweet dreams of me with You ~

~ From me, in response to Her

Curious, indeed…What is one to think?