67 people are following this blog. Why? I think I have asked this before, and here I am again. Depending on how I tag my posts, some of you seem to enjoy my poetry. Wow–that is humbling, really, since it’s really not all that, right? But, thanks anyway! I am less flattered and more honored that you stick around.
Others of you are following me, not for me, per se, but for this terrible, lovely merry-go-round of mine with Her. I have been away for a while, because I have been away from Her, at least via email, since She lives a quarter of a planet away from me. If I check this blog, I am too tempted to check my email associated with it, which leads me to checking in on Her, and We were trying to let each other go, given our impossible circumstances.
Yesterday, I posted a poem about a spider falling in love with his reflection. It was my fun and feeble attempt to steer this ship in a different, lighter, less attached direction. Alas, guess what I did immediately upon posting the poem. Yeah.
So, you can pretty much count on Us being “on”(ish) if I am posting here. I want to spend all day talking to Her online. But, She is a busy Woman, so in the meantime I have to have something to do besides Solitaire.
Really, I do have a life, and a brain…I just don’t seem to use them so well when my brain is all melty from Her. Not that I blame Her for any of my actions. Indeed not! Have you heard that story of the person walking down the street and falls into the hole, then walks down the next day, looks in the hole, and falls in again? Then she walks down the street, side steps the hole, and goes on her way. Then she picks a different street altogether. Yeah, well, I’m on the looking-in-the-hole-and-falling-in-anyway step.
If there were abuse or violence or annoyances or something, this would be so much easier. I would simply be glad to be done with Her, or vice versa.
But, We are good people Who love Each Other deeply, and the distance seems to only make it stronger. I’m sure if She really had to live with me for a time, She might change Her sweet mind. But, that’s part of the impossible circumstances, as you know if you’ve been reading here for some time.
I don’t really want to write drippy love poetry right now. It pulls me into a hole of longing. Ah! Perhaps I am coming closer to walking around that hole after all! Or, maybe I’m just feeling sane right now. Only time will tell.
Anyway, I often feel I have to give a disclaimer every now and then, so as not to mislead my new followers. Thanks for following, and I hope to share something that makes you smile sometimes.