A Heart with a Mind of Its Own ~

Missing You, Darling Soul,
And can’t bring myself to tell You
that I stay away from email
While entertaining thoughts of
Obtaining a visa! Shhhhhh!

No one would miss me
For just a month or two,
Would they? Maybe not
If they knew I was with You
In joy and love and peace?

Ah, I stay away from that email
Lest I open the box my heart is in
Allowing it the chance it awaits
To pour out all over the universe
Filling first a soul promise to You

The lava of my feelings is hot today
Steaming, spitting, boiling fitfully!
I have been diligent, oh yes,
Cooling it down with reason
Breathing, compassion, patience

But it has a mind of its own, You know?
Or at least a heart all its own
And since the heart pumps the blood
And the blood moves the muscles
Who knows what I might do?

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5 thoughts on “A Heart with a Mind of Its Own ~

  1. Beautiful Emperor Butterfly
    My Beloved Lady, My dear Soul!
    I’ve been missing you too.
    So strong feelings arouse every morning
    The need of kiss your soft lips
    After my eyes open wide and
    I can not see you at my side!
    Soon after I think about
    Your last words of gratitude
    For letting you go and stay
    Where you belong to.
    But I kiss you in my mind,
    I slowly smell your body,
    In between the kisses I give you
    From the top of your forehead
    To the tip of your finger foot.
    And it is so real that
    I can feel you almost near me.
    What can I do?
    I did it last night,
    I did it this morning…
    And here you are, telling me
    What your heart is doing to you.
    Children are in vacancy from school,
    You Should be with them.
    That rose you sent me, the one I took the photo,
    It is still red, dark red,
    Preserved into a box
    Next year when I am going to Champaign
    I will take it with me to leave it
    In the house we both love to stay.
    Love to your beautiful heart
    My beloved young Lady.

    19/06/2013

    • Yes, I belong here
      But I miss you so much!
      Today I wished hard
      That You lived close by
      So on my way home
      I could stop by to visit You
      To calm my passions
      (Our passions?)
      Just for a while
      No one would know
      I was gone
      Then
      I would do it again
      Every day ~

    • A year when You will be close again?
      Ah! Can my heart take this?
      Can it bear the responsibility it claims?
      All I can feel is Your sweet breath
      On the side of my mouth as We kiss
      Your hand on my heart
      Owning it since time began
      Your words above gently fan
      The fire of my body
      Wanting to crawl to You
      From the foot of Your bed
      In that room filled with passion
      Kissing You closely
      From Your feet to Your mouth
      Pulling You near me
      Tasting Your lips above and below
      (Did I just write that–oh yes I did!)
      Not letting You away from me
      Ah, damn! I miss You so!
      Lady, Sweet Woman!
      How can this be possible
      To release You this time?
      My love for You is forever red
      Like the rose that will lie in a box
      And red like the passion
      Of the room with the box
      With the rose that I sent You
      Because my love was too much
      To hold on my own

  2. Less Than a year when I will be close to you again?
    Just closer, not together as I would rather be
    Ah! Can my heart take this?
    You asked me.
    I don’t know of yours, But I, surely will have to.
    I would not stand to bear the responsibility
    With the feelings of guilt that you would have
    After sharing all the caresses and tender love
    We need and we desire to share,
    Not only for a few days but for the rest
    Of our Souls’ existence.
    And once again, as you said,
    Not this time again…
    So what we shall have will be
    Only the sweet Memories of
    Our lips touching each others
    Begining from the corner of our mouth
    My hands on your breast
    And beneath it your heart
    which I Own it since time began
    Your hand on my breast
    And beneath it my heart
    which you Own it since time began.
    Hearts full with love
    Ah! The fire of our body!
    I would ask you to and let you
    Pull me near to you
    Tasting each other’s lips above and below
    Having the taste of the sweet nectar
    That would flow in a flow of pleasure and surrender
    The sweet memory of you Saying:
    Oh god…oh god…oh god…
    Then I will try to reach you again
    But all I will have will be my empty bed
    My hands will touch the empty cloths
    I will be alone in that empty room
    Whispering your name, hugged with my pillow!

    • So these are the words that awakened me in the middle of the night!
      How truly and terribly delightful and awful!
      You have such a way with words–
      Describing the experience of the depths of both love and loss!
      So, memories I hold, not only in mind but in body as well
      Memories that continue to push me and call me,
      Begging to reignite their search for fulfillment!
      “Quiet!” I demand, and sometimes they listen…
      But other times, I am on their side
      Cheering them on, wishing for their victory
      Ah damn.
      Back into the valley, away from the lava
      Both attractive and dangerous
      Leaving You to be with the faint scent
      Of roses, red with fire and passion
      But above all, with the deepest love of my heart ~

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